From Housekeeper to Wife to Scarlet Woman

My 11th great grandfather, the Reverend Stephen Betchelder, came to the new world in 1632 during the Puritan movement when he was 71! He had been married to my 11th great grandmother, Anne Bates, for 30 years before she died.  He remarried to Helena Mason and brought her and his daughter, my 10th great grandmother Deborah and her husband the Reverend John Wing and others to Massachusetts with them.  They may have spent time in the Netherlands (like the Pilgrims) first after escaping the harsh church laws in England.

After 20 years of marriage, Helena died and left the 86-year-old great grandfather and religious leader alone.  He found a 29-year-old widow and mother of two, Mary Bailey, and hired her to take care of his household in exchange for room and board for her family.  However, Puritan law decreed that a man and a woman cannot live together unless they are married.  Even if he's in his 80s and not interested in her as a paramour but as a servant.

He wrote to his friend Governor John Winthrop (another 10th great grandfather):

"And whereas, by approbation of the whole plantation of Strawberry Bank, they have assigned an honest neighbor, (a widow) to have some eye and care towards my family, for washing, baking, and other such common services, -- it is a world of woes to think what rumors detracting spirits raise up, that I am married to her, or certainly shall be and cast on her such aspersions without ground or proof, that I see not how possibly I shall subsist in the place, to do them that service from which, otherwise they cannot endure to hear I shall depart. The Lord direct and guide us jointly and singularly in all things, to his glory and our rejoicing in the day and at the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ! "

Due to the rumor mongers, they were fined 10 pounds (about $1,600 today) for this transgression. But to circumvent the law, he announced to the world that he and Mary were married! By himself as pastor!

On April 9, 1650, the fine was cut in half "for not publishing his marriage according to law." The marriage never appears in the paper trail. It was "ordered that Mr. Betchelder and Mary his wife shall live together, as they publicly agreed to do, and if either desert the other, the Marshal is to take them to Boston to be kept until next quarter Court of Assistants, to consider a divorce. Bail to be granted if satisfactory security could be obtained. In case Mary Betchelder lives out of this jurisdiction without mutual consent for a time, notice of her absence to be given to the Magistrates at Boston."

Meanwhile, Mary fell in love with a young neighbor, George Rogers, and had a child with him.  The court sentenced both of them to a whipping for adultery and she petitioned for a divorce from Stephen.  

Poor, old Reverend Stephen Betchelder, frustrated and humiliated by the harsh reactions by his Puritan neighbors, he returned to England where he died at 95, just 17 days before Mary's divorce was granted.

Letters from Detta

Do you know all your grandparents?  If so, you are lucky!  I only got to grow up with my mother's mother.  My dad's mother died when he was only 16.  As a redhead, I'm always wondering where my sister and I got our ginger hair.  I asked my dad, "What color of hair did your mom have?"

"Grey," he replied.

His memory of her was fuzzy.  I knew that she had been a teacher and was very suited to raising their 12 children.  She would line up the kids on the kitchen chairs in two rows.  She would ask the  two in the first row to spell a word.  When one missed, they went to the back of their line and everyone would move up a chair. And still my dad couldn't spell!

That's it! That's all I knew about her!

Then my dad's sister Madalyn died and left some old letters.  That is how I got to know my grandmother, Martha Bernadetta Muller Raygor, or simply Detta.  Here are the two letters, transcribed as is:

From: 211-1 St., Coon Rapids, Ia., May 4, 1942

To: Mrs. H.R. Smith, General Delivery, Pryor, Okla.

Coon Town, the second day of May, 1942

My dear children –

Hi there, what you all doing these fine days? I say fine, because it is raining. It was so very dry, that our garden seed wouldn’t germinate and come up, but things are sure blooming now.

It rained Thu., and then again to-day.

Bess & Les & Grandma, Grandpa & Orlo were over yesterday after-noon. Les brought me a bale of straw for my hens’ nests. I asked for a sack full but he brought a whole bale. Bess took one of my big yellow setting hens Flossy home to set on duck eggs. She said if the eggs hatched good, she would give me two of the little ducklings to raise. She has 6 setting hens from different people, setting on duck eggs. And she has 4 little ducks now. [Bess was Detta's first born.]

Now, Madalyn, don’t take me all wrong, I didn’t mean to insinuate that you’re more lazy at home, but you know they always say the way to a man’s heart is thru his stomach, so there-fore have a nice supper ready for him when he gets home from work.

The nice picture of Willie you sent up here, I sent on to him, and said “Madalyn’s version of you.” What do you think he will think of that? I bet you will hear from him about it, but it’s all in fun.

Omar, John, Josie & Harry all went up to confession this evening. Toots wouldn’t go, he said it was too rainy. I went Fri. morning. [Toots is Larry, my dad, all the others are brothers and sister.]

You know, Toots is in the boys glee club and mixed chorus. Well they went to the state music contest at Council Bluffs last night, and the boys glee club took second. The girls first and mixed chorus second.  I don’t know if Toots gets to go anyplace else now or not.  It was 1:30 AM when he got home, so he didn’t get up till 11:30 this noon. I guess he has gone to bed now.

Well the wind has gone to the north-west and is it ever getting chilly out. If it clears off by morning, it might freeze, but I hope not. The warm kitchen stove feels good never-the-less, on the second day of May.

Speaking of May, here is where the birthdays come in. Nine are all in May: Leona 4; Dad & Harry 10; Aunt Estella 15; Eddie 16; Toots 17; Jake, Omar & Harry B. 25. [Estella and Leona were Detta's older sisters]

My ten little chicks are growing like everything. I have another big yellow hen, Sussy, wants to set, so I guess I will set her on some hens eggs.  Lester is going to try and get me a runty pig to feed for next winter’s meat.

Well I haven’t heard from Clara since Wed. She be O.K. tho, or they would let us know. It has stopped raining now. [Clara was Detta's second born.]

Dad has a new job now. He and Andy Lindle are the bosses of a school victory garden. Coon, Viola & Gray schools have 5 acres into vegetable garden. 2 acres in potatoes, 2 acres into carrots, beets, onions, turnips, parsnips, peas, beans and sweet corn. The school kids are to take care of it and the men show them how. Then there will be 5 W.P.A. women to can what is to can.

Mrs. Esdohr gave me 1 bushel of fire-plant and Daisy C washed the jars. She and I washed and cut the fire-plant.  I canned it and Dad sealed the jars for me. We canned 16 quarts of sauce.

We have to register for sugar rationing next Tues. We got a 100 lb sack in the winter yet, so will have 25 lbs. to report on.

The fire has gone out and I am getting cold, so I guess I will have to go to bed to get warm, so good night until to-morrow some time.

Mon. after-noon.  I am grandma again. Clara & Harry have a big girl, came Sun. morn. Weighs 8 lb. 11 oz. Dark hair & big blue eyes. Harry says she has big feet too. They may name her Murl Ann. Clara wants it that, but Harry doesn’t like Murl.

I must write Clara a big letter this P.M.

Say! Tell Harold that from his picture, he looks to be a very handsome young man.  We would all like to meet him soon.

We got your special delivery letter, also one letter from the Post Master and your picture back.

I washed this morning, so there-fore I am rather tired.

Pepper Young’s family is just coming on the radio, so I must listen to that. It is sure good now.  With that finished, I will proceed with my letter.  It is now 2:45 and it looks as tho it might rain again. Eggs aren’t quite so high here. I get 27c a dozen for extras and 25c for firsts. Of course, if I were to buy them, I might have to pay 29c or 30c a dozen. I sold 1 dozen last Sat. and got 37c for them, but now I only have 3 hens to lay for me.

Can’t think of any more news, so will say adieu for now. Write very soon. I am as always, your loving Mom.

This letter doesn't reflect the severe pain she was in with stomach cancer.  In fact, she died just 21 days after she wrote this last letter.

From: Mrs. Ed Raygor, 211-1 St., Coon Rapids, Ia., Sept 1, 1942

To: Mrs. H.R. Smith, Heflin Camp, Edinburg, Ind.

Dear Madalyn –

I suppose Harold has gone by now, have you heard from him yet? If so, how is he, how does he like army life and what is his address? If I can think of any more questions, I will shoot them at you.

How is your self? And what are you doing? Is it very warm down there? It has been really hot the last 5 days in the after-noon.  It is about 7:30 P.M. Tuesday and it is still hot, so I brought this letter down cellar to write it. I was sleeping so I laid down on my box bed, and even to sleep for ½ hour feel pretty decent. Now am still canning tomatoes and making apple butter, have 101 qt. of tomatoes canned, will make a batch of catsup to morrow.  I got 9 qt. of pears from that box. Got ½ bushel of grapes from Aunt Annie and made some jelly, 6 pints of butter and bottled 12 bottles of grape juice, including the grapes Clara gave me.

II. Now Madalyn, prepare yourself for some bad news; the Husier (Hoosier?) twins have both gone beyond. Orange Blossom died Sun. eve & Dagwood died this morning. They had sort of a bowel trouble, couldn’t do a thing for them.  They were so tiny and weak.  Our Tommy Tinker and Eudora Rusty cat has it too, but they are older & stronger. They may pull through. Tom ate a little milk tonight, but just a little. It has been so hot and sultry.

School started for good this morn; all like it very much, especially Harry, up at the Catholic school. There were about 25 kids in three grades, now there are 32, in his grade 7 alone and he has only 4 subjects to study. 

Haven’t seen the girls lately, but got a service flag from Bess this morn with two stars in it, one star for Jake & one for Harold. Dad went to N. Coon with the Longfellows, Noble & his nephew Freddie on Sat., and he got 7 nice catfish and 2 large carp. He is down fishing in M. [Middle] Coon now.

Write soon Madalyn and send Harold’s address. 

Mom

How is Harold’s mother? Tell her to write a line or two.  Wed – It turned much cooler this morn & rained hard – much nicer.

The Tragic Story of John Ball and his 2 Elizabeths

Imagine a young father in the early 1600s, born in Wiltshire, England but hearing exciting stories of being able to own land!  John Ball was just that father. He and his wife Joanna King gathered up their three young sons 11-year-old Francis, 10-year-old John, and Nathaniel, just 5, and set off to the New World in 1630 – the same year that Boston and nearby Watertown on the Charles River were formed.

By 1643, my ancestor John, the middle son, had become a tailor and wanted to start his own family in the newly formed Middlesex County.

Meanwhile, weaver John and Elizabeth Trull Pierce had the same yearnings in Norwich, Norfolk, England.  In 1637 they bundled their four children still at home - Judith, Barbara, John, and my ancestor, 13-year-old Elizabeth (born 11 April 1624) and sailed to Massachusetts like hundreds of others since the Pilgrims landed in 1620.

In 1643 when John was 23 and Elizabeth was 19, they married in Watertown, Massachusetts Colony.  The next year, Elizabeth gave birth to John (my ancestor), Mary was born in 1651, and Sarah was born about 1654, Esther was born and died in 1655.

While pregnant with their fifth child, Abigail, on 3 February 1656, Elizabeth was officially ordered by the local town council or select men to card two skeins of cotton or sheep’s wool (plus young Mary must spin it) every day or else she would be sent to the house of correction!

On 8 December 1656, John was called before the select men to explain the condition of his household.  Apparently, Elizabeth was showing signs of mental illness. Three days later, John put their first two children into the care of his in-laws, “Brother and Sister Pearce,” to learn trades (weaving and spinning) – 12-year-old John until he was 21 and 5-year-old Mary until she was 18. They were also to be taught to “read the English tongue and be instructed in the knowledge of God.” He gave the in-laws two oxen and two cows to cover the children’s living costs.

Three weeks later on 3 January 1657, John agreed to give 2-year-old Sarah to local farmer Richard and his wife Mary Gale to keep for 4 years. John would pay them 6 pounds a year plus provide Sarah’s clothes for 3 years. (It is likely that she would be apprenticed after that time.)  But things didn’t work out.  On 20 September 1658, it was agreed that Joseph and Esther Pierce Morse would take Sarah. Esther was Elizabeth’s older sister and they had at least two grown sons. John signed the agreement by mark (X) and Joseph signed his name.  (Sarah grew up, married Benjamin Chamberlain, had 7 children, and lived to be 69.)

Abigail was born 20 April 1658. When she was only 6 months old, she was placed with neighbors Anthony and Grace White for one year (likely until she was weaned). Unfortunately, Abigail died when she was only 10.  No explanation about how or where.

By 1660, Elizabeth became “violently insane”. In March, John put his wife into the care of his in-laws, John and Elizabeth (Trull) Pierce; payment to care for her was the use of his house and lands for as long as Elizabeth continued to stay there.  He said that if God took her (she died) before she returned to a normal mind, the property would go to their children. The deed was recorded 31 October 1664, so Elizabeth probably died about then.  Her father and caretaker Brother Pierce died in 1661 when young John was 17 and Mary was 11. Sister Pierce died 12 Mar 1668 when Mary was 18. John married Sarah Bullard when he was 20, they had at least 12 children, and he lived to be 77.  Mary married William Munroe of Scotland when she was 21, had 9 children, and lived to be 78.

After Elizabeth died, John now 45, was free to marry his second wife Elizabeth Fox on 3 October 1665 in Concord, Middlesex, Massachusetts. She was about 23 years old and the daughter of Thomas and Rebecca Wheate Fox of Concord.

Three weeks later, John sold his farm in Watertown to William Perry and went to settle Lancaster, Mass., a town on the western frontier. It was originally called Nashaway Plantation when Sholan, chief of the Nashaway Indians, deeded an 8- by 10-mile tract to Henry Symonds and Thomas King, if they would build a trading house on the land and trade with the Indians. The General Court confirmed the deed, and the trading house was built in 1642 on the southeast side of George Hill. Now, 20 years later, John and Elizabeth went to run a second trading house in the south part of Lancaster. John's lands were never described in the town's Book of Lands although he was one of the first inhabitants.

Luckily, it doesn’t look like his older children went with them. However, during the next 11 years Elizabeth gave birth to Joseph and another boy and girl whose names were not recorded.

Lancaster was isolated making it a target for Wampanoag Indian attacks during King Phillip’s War. Phillip was Wampanoag chief Metacomet, son of Massasoit who helped the Pilgrims during that bitter first winter.  Phillip was peaceful but as expansion continued, he vowed to annihilate all the settlers which triggered the war. The new leader Shosanin followed in Phillip’s goal to exterminate the colonists.  Based on nearby attacks, on 10 February 1676, Rev. Joseph Rowlandson and two others went to Boston to get the General Court to send soldiers to defend the town. The townspeople had fortified five of the houses into garrisons including the house of Rev. Rowlandson.

However, that same morning 1,500 Indians attacked the town in five different places. The Rowlandson garrison came under strong attack and was the only one overrun. Mary, wife of Rev. Rowlandson and their children were taken prisoner.  Eleven weeks later women from Boston raised 20 pounds to pay the ransom to get her back. Years later she wrote about it in Narrative of the Captivity and Restoration of Mrs. Mary Rowlandson, the first best seller in America.

She wrote, "Quickly it was the dolefullest day that ever mine eyes saw." After several hours and multiple attempts, the garrison was finally set on fire with forty-two people inside. Those women and children who got out alive were herded into the woods to be offered for ransom, but most either died from their wounds or were killed for traveling too slowly.

Very early in the attack, John and Elizabeth Ball’s house was overrun by the Indians before they could get to the garrison. Mrs. Rowlandson wrote, "There were five persons taken in one house. The father and the mother and a sucking child they knocked on the head [and killed]; the other two they took and carried away alive."  The children were never seen again and apparently died at the hands of their captors.

Two years later, John Ball's estate was administered by his eldest son John on 1 February 1678. His lands were sold in 1682 to Thomas Harris.